Right now I’m in Spain, I came to take two exams of my law degree.
It has not been easy to come home, I weighed much over, and I know it’s partly for the loss of my grandfather. I know that I have denied much and have had a critical attitude on several occasions to the way the issue was dealt at home or things that have been happening during the five years he has been with us, but also have helped, I have give all my attention and my affection. And now that is not miss him, there is a great absence, a gap big enough. I guess the only way to close this wound is to go to see his grave in the cemetery and say goodbye properly, is something I must do before come back to Helsinki.
Besides my grandfather, I miss my boyfriend and my house, moving in together has been a dream come true and having to go back to Spain only a week after getting the house ready feels bad. Now I can only think of the things I’m missing, I cannot be there for his first day of work, we do are not seeing each other lately and we speak very little … all this makes me a bit sad.
But I have to be happy and try to cheer myself thinking how short time I have left to see him and get back. There are only 19 days and I think I can survive. I hope so!