20

The date is approaching little by little and I feel that lot is still undone. I should be organizing what I need to take with and writing lists with things I need to buy before leaving.

But these last days have been (as last weeks and month) full of emotional ups and downs. I know that in the last entry I said that I have faith in this whole thing, and so I do; but sometimes I get scared and my main fears can be resumed to two:

– Fear of not finding my place there:

Because lately all news what I get are either huge success of people who didn’t plan to go there, or failures and marginalisation of many others. I know I have to stay calm and happy, because worrying about these problems before even starting will make all very difficult. It is never good to try to do something when you are thinking you are going to fail. I have to believe in myself and as You said: “don’t give up your life before it even starts”.

– Fear of losing what I already have there: which means You.

Yesterday I read something what I wrote at the end of my practical training in Helsinki, I was full of joy and courage to start new things, a courage I feel missing some days here. But reading those words made thought that I just have to find the right mood again after that all will flow.  So… welcome in, new life!!

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